Saturday, June 16, 2007

Failing again?

Dear Prinha,
Are we failing again? Everytime i promise myself to come upto the expectations of all those around, but i fail. I work harder than i should, i try and make all meticulous plans and well thought decisions- (infact, lot of thoughts go into making them), but still when i am questioned, i fumble for words and there are tears in my eyes, and you, Prinha, you too weep. I than remember my school days when my teacher would question me for anything, and i would have wet eyes. Even when on parents meet, they would point out on my handwriting, or my being shy and quiet, or when ma would say anything, i would weep and weep. After all these years, when i am scolded/ questioned harshly, i again become the same timid MS who hated this world as a child- felt no one loves me. I again hate it all when i am made to feel like that. I wonder if its intentional treatment with me or just a natural one, but it hurts everytime. All that determination to work, to be mentally independent and to be a strong person just melts away, and i become the same old timid MS- whom i hated always. I always had a desire to not to be that MS, who had no friends at school because she was scared to ppl, and their questions. I dont want to go back again. Lets be strong Prinha, lets come out of this. Lets face this world, strongly.

1 comment:

Oxgrand said...

"On expectations of all those around.." I believe we should not compare our performances to what others say or what we perceive what others would think about it. We must always compare our performace to what we are actually capable of.

And then keep raising your capabilities and your performances.
And on your fear of others and you being timid, you have alerady found your solution in prinha. None can be your better friend than your own self. Enrich yourself. Both will be enriched and will take better care of each other.